Sunday, 15 April 2018

Becoming too dependent on other people for your happiness

Recently I have come to the conclusion that I am far too dependant on other people when it comes to my happiness. I genuinely hate being on my own, which is something I didn't think I would ever feel.

I spent a whole week with Andy recently, him staying at mine, us commuting home from work together, talking for more than five minutes a day (which is our usual phone conversation, consisting of '"how was your day at work?", "fine, yours?", "yeah was ok, you going gym tonight?", "yeah, you?", "yup, do you have any news?", "no not today", "ok have a nice evening" -  basically because neither of us like to talk on the phone), and actually getting to eat dinner together. It was so nice, but the week after he left I was so lost. I found myself feeling pretty shit, even though I am so used to not living with him and only seeing him at weekends. The week he was here I suppose I had something to look forward to after work, and it made the days quicker, I was overall much happier *cringe*.

I suppose the days of feeling shit made me realise that I need to stop depending on other people for my own happiness - I am more than capable of being happy on my own, and deep down I genuinely do enjoy spending time with myself. We should all be happy in our own company, and yes - we should look forward to spending time with loved ones, but our happiness shouldn't rely on that. It definitely has something to do with a fear of being lonely - really I am never truly alone, I live with my family and am always on my phone texting.

I’m sure I cannot be the only person who feels like this, so please do let me know if you have ever felt like this! I’m definitely going to work on not relying so much on other people to be happy myself, and make plans for after work that don’t necessarily involve me seeing friends - things I can do on my own. Are there any things you guys recommend doing on your own? - I'd love ideas!

Monday, 2 April 2018

My Journey To Feeling Alive

Wow, what a dramatic title - what this post is really about is my journey to not falling asleep on my commute to work (not quite such an exciting title though).

As I like to mention, quite frequently, I am unable to stay awake on my morning commute to work - no amount of Netflix, reading of the Metro, or listening to the Jonas Brothers will keep me awake. I get a very decent amount of sleep every night, around 8 hours, so it has been a challenge to figure out what I can do to make myself feel more alive and awake.

Thankfully (hearing all my prayers apparently...) the lovely team at Pegasus PR got in touch to offer me a box of sleep related goodies in conjunction with National Sleep Awareness Week - yes I know this was a few weeks ago now, but I had to give these products a go before raving about them to you guys. The main product that the box was promoting was the new Benenox Overnight Recharge, a combination of honey, Sustamine and Vitamin B6, which when taken before bed helps to support a good sleep, and supposedly makes you feel more awake in the morning. I was sceptical, I'll put it that way, but nonetheless super keen to try anything and everything that could possibly help with my annoying situation.

After taking Benenox for a week, I really noticed a change in the way I felt in the mornings. Some days I did still fall asleep on the train to work, but overall I felt much less fatigued, and felt like my quality of sleep had improved - I didn't wake up once in the night (possibly a negative as one of my favourite things is waking up at 5am and realising I still have an hour and a half left of sleep). I've also noticed the benefit of having a Clipper 'Snore and Peace' tea before bed, which also came in the gorgeous box gifted to me. I hate normal tea (I know....), and am generally super fussy with herbal teas but my oh my this tea is actually yummy. I'm awful at describing flavours but it's essentially Chamomile and Lavender, and it really does make me feel sleepy - how it works, I don't know.

You get around 9 uses in one bottle of Benenox, and it retails at £9.99 - so not the cheapest thing to be buying, but I think for me it is helping me just that little bit. I do need to get into the basic routine of reading every night before bed rather than watching Netflix or scrolling through Instagram, I think this would definitely help also. If you have any other tips and tricks for feeling more alive in the mornings, please let me know!


A Makeup Revolution Base

If you haven't heard everyone raving about the Makeup Revolution Conceal & Define concealer, or the new release of their foundation stick, then honestly, where have you been?! I gave in to the hype (as I so often do...), and here is the low-down on these bad boys *hint, you will probably want to buy these after reading this*.

The first time I wore this foundation, incidentally when I took these photos, I did not use primer under the foundation stick, but I can confirm it does look (and stay) a little better with a primer underneath. Applying the foundation itself is a dream, I apply directly from the stick to my face, and draw on a few lines. It blends in amazingly, since the formula is really creamy and blendable. In comparison to the L'Oreal foundation stick which I am a massive fan of, this one actually blends so much easier, and the coverage is a little heavier. The picture below shows my face with one side wearing the foundation, and the other side is just my bare skin.

As you can see, the coverage is pretty damn good, and it doesn't make my skin look super dry which a lot of foundations can do. It does highlight my large pores though, however when I do use a primer underneath, this obviously helps. I wouldn't recommend this foundation for anyone with oily skin though, it is 100% designed for people with dry-normal skin, I have heard reports of it literally slipping of peoples faces who have a more oily face than I do (of course I cannot confirm this, but this is what I have heard). I wear shade F10 for reference!

Now the concealer, ohhh the's amazing. If you like a full coverage concealer, something to really hide those late nights or chocolate fuelled spots, this is the one. Very much like the foundation, it blends in easily. The only downside I have is that it does settle into the lines under my eyes, even after baking it - but most concealers that I wear do this (anyone have any tips how to stop this from happening?). I actually have this in two shades C8 and C10, C8 is perfect for highlighting, but I would definitely use C10 to cover any blemishes. If you like the Collection Lasting Perfection concealer, but find the shade range awful and the formula a little drying, this is your saviour. 

I took an uncomfortably up close picture of my skin so you can all see the foundation/concealer duo, and the way that they sit on the skin. You can see where it highlights my pores and where the concealer bunches up into my fine lines, but realistically who is going to be coming up that close to your face (that would judge you for this at least)? I have never ever found a concealer that doesn't go into my fine lines, so this doesn't bother me one bit. 

 Overall, I recommend both products, they are super affordable - and although the concealer in particular is very hard to get hold of (all down to Holly Boon) I would advise all my dry-normal skin gals to go on the hunt for these bad boys - you'll thank me, I promise!


Sunday, 11 March 2018

Lets Chat: realising I can't do everything, body confidence and Instagram...

I've realised recently that I fucking love talking boyfriend will agree with me on this one. And what better place to share my word vomit than here, with you guys, if you want to hear about what my current thoughts and feelings are anyway.

I've recently realised that I do not have the time or the energy to do everything I want, or everything that is put in front of me. Juggling work, my friendships, my relationship, spending time with family and my blog has been a serious struggle for me, and I've just reached a point where I have realised that in order to succeed in one of these,  a few of these are going to have to take a backseat (which sucks, and should most definitely not have to be the case). Since I haven't been in my job for a long time, and obviously I spend the majority of my day at work, work has definitely taken priority at the moment, and I do find it a little hard to switch off in the evenings, panicking that I have forgotten to do something, or that I've done something wrong. My fitness has most definitely taken a hit, from going to the gym 5/6 times a week down to 4 has genuinely had an impact on my body and my energy levels - if anyone has any tips on juggling gym and work, please hit me up! 

My poor old blog has also taken a hit, with a lack of high quality and aesthetically pleasing images, and good quality writing, that isn't just my words vommed out on a page. I wish I could spend two or three hours a day on my blog, but when I already get up at 6:30am, and get home around 7:30pm, there just really isn't time. How people hold down a full time job, and daily posting is absolutely beyond me, please share your secrets!

Anyway, I suppose my overall point is that it's ok to not have time to do everything, and you shouldn't feel like a failure when you are unable to achieve everything you want to. I, especially with my blog, feel immensely shit if I miss an upload one week, but sometimes I just don't have the ideas, or the time to write and photograph, and realistically I don't feel like anyone is hugely missing out, except for myself. I think writing a proper schedule for my weeks is definitely on the cards, and solidifying two days a month where I can get all my photographs done for all my months posts is probably a very wise idea.

Since I briefly mentioned the gym, let me have a quick old ramble about body confidence. I feel like my body confidence has dropped significantly from how I was feeling at the end of Summer, before I moved back home. I was genuinely happy with where my body was at, and although I wanted to grow more of a booty, everything else was pretty much ok, and I felt good. Maybe it's just a winter thing? I suppose the increase in Instagram fitspo accounts I'm following definitely correlates with my feelings on my own body. As my fave Carly Rowena says, if you look at the pictures and they don't make you feel good about yourself, you should probably unfollow the account - some advice I am definitely going to be taking on board. We should all be happy with the bodies that we have, especially if they are healthy, but sometimes that can be much easier said than done when there are these other ideas of 'perfection' online.

Enough of my ramblings on - sometimes I feel like I just need to type out what random thoughts are currently in my head, so I hope you have enjoyed having a delve around my brain!


Monday, 5 March 2018

Confessions of a 22 year old

So, I turned 22 on the 17th of February, and I really wanted to do a post relating to the fact I was 22, and aside from the generic ‘22 things I’ve learnt in my 22 years’ or an entire post dedicated to Taylor Swift’s absolute banger, I’ve decided on this one...confessions of a 22 year old. Enjoy my embarrassing confessions, and sorry to any of my friends, who probably won’t want to be friends with me anymore.

Let's start with a juicy one shall we. I’ve wee’d in my boyfriends car more times than I care to admit. Let me explain this one. Andy referees at weekends, sometimes two matches back to back in fields where there is absolutely nothing around. We have a deal where he will buy me a McDonalds toffee latte before or after every match as compensation for me sitting in his freezing car for around 3 and a half hours (not such a fair deal on my part if you ask me). Anyway...back to the main part of the story, with my weak bladder and a coffee flowing through my system, mixed with the cold weather, sometimes a girl just gotta go - in a coffee cup. Sorry not sorry.

I've started to care much less about embarrassing bodily functions. Legit, I don’t give a fuck if I fart in front of Andy - I’m past it, and he is most definitely past it. We’re all on this planet, we are all built the same, and we all do it - why should we be embarrassed or care?! Not that I am advising everyone to be animals and go parping in public. Oh, and as for my weak bladder/needing to wee every hour (or every 10 minutes if I’m on a night out), I couldn’t give a monkeys. Also, the thought of taking a dump in a public toilet - absolute no no way back in the day, but now, yolo, you gotta go when you gotta go.

This isn’t such a juicy one, but I fall asleep on the train to work, every morning. God knows why, I’m the oldest lady of a 22 year old you will ever find, I go to sleep at 10:30 every night, and get around 7-8 hours a night - how that warrants falling asleep on the train every morning, I have no idea. I definitely need to get me some Floradix - has anyone tried this, does it work? Fingers crossed I don’t dribble or snore on the train, I do always wake up to people staring at me so who knows.

I have a shopping addiction. Like, seriously. I do not need any more boots. I do not need anymore Gymshark outfits, but I just can’t help it. I’m of an age now where if I want something and I know it’ll make me happy, I will just buy it. Sod being broke for the whole month. Plus, if I feel I look good I will be ten times more confident and happy. 

I sometimes wear the same bra for over a week. Who’s boobs sweat so much that you need to wash your bra all the time?! Sorry, but I haven’t got time (or enough bras) to be washing them every three days as suggested. Don’t even judge me, I promise I don’t smell, and my pants definitely do get changed every day.

Don’t get me started on body hair, some mornings I wake up, see my moustache, leave it, and be Daniel for the day. Who even has time for hair removal of ya moustache once a week? Dark haired girls, do you feel me?! And leg hair is just an extra layer for warmth. I think Andy has got used to my gorilla-like appearance, and he’s said he doesn’t even care - not that I’d care if he had a problem with it. In summer when my legs are out I will most definitely be shaving them, don't worry.

So there you have it, confessions of a twenty two year old (aka, me). Please share your embarrassing confessions below, or if you feel me on any of these!
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